Oh, the joys of running a LOST site. You all may remember a darling commentator named… Fart Monster? You can probably see where this is going. Fart Monster was what we call a … Troll. Fart Monster was banned for aggressive spoiling in the comments, and general douchey-ness. Well, after numerous weeks I’ve received this darling email. He claims to be Fart Monster’s friend, caught in the cross-fire – but his temperament reminds me of a certain troll. Amusing after note: this person’s comment/theory was never actually deleted. It’s on this http://www.docarzt.com/lost/lost-news/alternate-or-parallel-i-say-alternate/ post. That’s right, his entire rant is without merit. Learn. To. Use. Google. (Needless to say, in some respects I most definitely will NOT miss the LOST fandom.)
My name is Josh, my user name was ‘Smoke Monster’. I apparently have been unethically deleted from this site without warrant. This is unbelievable. Early on in the season I came up with a great theory of what I thought would happen as this show ends. The funny thing is, my theory is essentially coming true, way before any potential spoilers for the fifth or sixth episode were even being whispered. It took me a long and hard time to figure out what to write down and what order it should take, and I took that time to (a) figure out what was happening on Lost, and (b) share my ideas with this site because I respected it…oh, and (c) so I could have that theory written down on the blog so I could revisit it later when the show was coming to an end to compare and contrast.
That respect has been extinguished. Now I understand why you banned ‘Fart Monster’, who was my friend but was a blatant asshole to everyone on the site. I told him to desist in his spoilers and dick comments but he didn’t, and I had no control over that. But to punish me for his intransigence is unconscionable, especially because I spent so much quality mental time on formulating that theory. It was initially dismissed by the bloggers, so I wanted to repost it in order to show them that they did not think intellectually ahead when trying to figure things out. But obviously now I can’t, and obviously not thinking ahead is a systemic problem on this site.
I am a very peaceful person, and never usually resort to this kind of language, but you know what, you guys are fucking retarded assholes, a complete joke to anyone that has ever watched Lost and actually tried to figure it out.
Just because I used the same IP address as ‘Fart Monster’ sometimes (even though when I wrote my actual theory I used my IP address) does not give you the right to delete my content. You ignorant fucks have ruined this for me. I was trying to remember everything I wrote but obviously now that doesn’t seem to be the case.
So here it is: My theory was written under ‘Smoke Monster’ I believe between the first 4 episodes or so, I don’t remember. If you still have it, email it to me so I can still salvage what I worked so hard to share with you ignorant fucks instead of keeping it private. If my deletion is any indication, however, that vital information is probably deleted. But let’s hope not.
If it’s there, let’s then hope you give me the respect a human being deserves and send that vital information to me. I had until this point always had respect for this site. But, as far as I can gather, you no longer deserve any.
If it’s not there, then straight up fuck you. You oversensitive ignorant fucking idiots, I’m glad Lost is coming to an end for the sole fact that I never have to hear of this site again. You people just fucked up your karma.
My theory went something like this: The nuclear bomb set the flash sideways into existence; the island underwater foreshadowed the actual ending; in the flash sideways, Desmond attempts to help everyone find their “constant” from the island in order to link the 2 timelines; Jack becomes the new Jacob on the island and opposes Smoke Monster Locke, while in the flash sideways Jack eventually heals Locke from his spinal injuries in a “miracle” (Jack and Locke roles reversed from beginning to end; Jack becomes another smoke monster and Jack and Locke have an epic fight, destroying the island while Desmond turns the wheel a final time to sink the island and merge the 2 timelines, allowing everyone in the flash sideways to remember everything from the island timeline. Jack and Locke go down with the island, while Desmond’s consciousness simply flashes back to the flash sideways, with full memory intact.
It was something like that, based on nothing but deductive logic. So please send that to me if you have it. If you do not, then go fuck yourselfs. You douchebags are gonna be lost after this show ends, having to go back to your normal lives trying to grasp the basic concepts of how life actually works without becoming ignorantly confused.
I thought I could trust you people, this was the first blog I ever tried. I’m never going to engage with sites like this again unless I know they’re not mentally retarded. Next time you lose something important in life, know its payment of karmic debt you now owe to me for deleting what I worked so hard on in order to post.
Whoever or whomever made that conscious decision to delete my posts, you will learn your lessons eventually. But until then, go fuck yourselfs you piece of shit fucking losers. You all think you’re the shit, but you’re not, you’re nothing but lonely people, and after this show is done, your delusion will end and you will again realize how alone you really are, because your arrogance is disproportional to your intellect. Grow the fuck up, and send me back my fucking theory.