So yesterday was the last First-Wednesday-Without-Lost that at least has the promise of another Season on the horizon. As such it was a taste of things to come. With that in mind, I would like to share my assessment of what Wednesdays will be like a year from now, when Season 6, and thus the show, has concluded.
Let me tell you, the future is bleak.
The first indication of this bleakness was when I woke up Wednesday with a total lack of enthusiasm. Usually I have a sense of purpose that gets me through the day, just so I can find my way to the couch in front of the TV at 9:00 pm with the kids in bed and the remote in my hand.
But not yesterday.
Yesterday I just went through the motions, not particularly excited about getting home. When I finally did, I could find no succor from the other TV shows that I was forced to deal with in lieu of Lost. There was a pirate movie on ABC, so I surfed around the other channels to see what normally goes on on Wednesdays other than Lost.
There was a musical show on Fox, a competition of sorts. When I discovered that the show revolved around a struggle between two men, one dressed in black, and one dressed in white, my interest perked up. But alas, the evening dragged on with no philosophical musings, no threats of killing or loopholes, no aping of dead men, (except for a flashback sequence in which the man in black assumed the form of Elvis, but without the whooshing sound effect and a parallel storyline, this flashback left much to be desired), and in the end, I found that I couldn’t sustain my interest, so I changed the channel.
All of the other channels were offering the same old tripe, procedural crime dramas, sitcoms, movies edited for time and content, etc. Without LOST, all other offerings meld into a homogeneous, bland soup of ‘Meh’. Thus TV without LOST failed me.
Having turned off the television, I found myself reverting to habit and doing what I usually do on Wednesdays after LOST, I turned to the internet for companionship. Again I was met with bitter disappointment. Without a fresh episode of LOST to dissect, the boards and blogs were a vast wasteland of rehashed theories and redundant observations. Out of desperation I turned to the rest of the internet, sites not related to LOST, and discovered that there is a lot of other stuff going on out there. Most of it involving porn. Thus the internet without LOST failed me.
Without TV and the internet, I was forced to seek stimulation from other human beings, and as a result I slowly became aware of other goings on in my home. Namely my wife and children appeared to have a whole storyline going on without me. This came as quite a surprise, as up to that point I was under the impression that after 9pm on Wednesdays the rest of my family ceased to exist until Thursday morning. Yet here they were, not only existing, but engaging each other in an intricate ritual. As I observed, I began to perceive that there was a struggle taking place between my wife and my two girls. Much like the conflict between the Losties and the Others. In this case, my wife was trying to put the girls to bed, and the girls were constantly coming up with increasingly elaborate excuses for why they shouldn’t be in bed. It was fascinating to behold.
At one point my wife actually broke the fourth wall and pleaded to me for help. This was unprecedented in my Wednesday night experiences! Sure, there were plenty of times I wanted to somehow influence the actions of Jack and Kate and Company, but despite my screamed instructions, the characters never acknowledged my suggestions, and never, never have they actively sought my help. So, as you can imagine, I was at a loss as to what to do about my wife’s plea of “Snap out of it! Lost is not on tonight, therefore you get to put those little monsters to bed tonight! I am done!”.
“Monsters.” I had never even considered the possibility that there might be two Monsters on the Island. I immediately got online to blog about the possibility that not only is Jacob’s Nemesis the Smoke Monster, but perhaps Jacob is also an as-of-yet unseen Monster. Not an easy task with two little girls running around the living room screaming and my wife on the couch crying.
But somehow I managed. After all, I am a Lost fan.