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Loss of LOST Leads to Long Lackluster Life

By imfromthepast,

  Filed under: Lost News
  Comments: 84

So yesterday was the last First-Wednesday-Without-Lost that at least has the promise of another Season on the horizon. As such it was a taste of things to come. With that in mind, I would like to share my assessment of what Wednesdays will be like a year from now, when Season 6, and thus the show, has concluded.

Let me tell you, the future is bleak.

The first indication of this bleakness was when I woke up Wednesday with a total lack of enthusiasm. Usually I have a sense of purpose that gets me through the day, just so I can find my way to the couch in front of the TV at 9:00 pm with the kids in bed and the remote in my hand.

But not yesterday.

Yesterday I just went through the motions, not particularly excited about getting home. When I finally did, I could find no succor from the other TV shows that I was forced to deal with in lieu of Lost. There was a pirate movie on ABC, so I surfed around the other channels to see what normally goes on on Wednesdays other than Lost.

There was a musical show on Fox, a competition of sorts. When I discovered that the show revolved around a struggle between two men, one dressed in black, and one dressed in white, my interest perked up. But alas, the evening dragged on with no philosophical musings, no threats of killing or loopholes, no aping of dead men, (except for a flashback sequence in which the man in black assumed the form of Elvis, but without the whooshing sound effect and a parallel storyline, this flashback left much to be desired), and in the end, I found that I couldn’t sustain my interest, so I changed the channel.

All of the other channels were offering the same old tripe, procedural crime dramas, sitcoms, movies edited for time and content, etc. Without LOST, all other offerings meld into a homogeneous, bland soup of ‘Meh’. Thus TV without LOST failed me.

Having turned off the television, I found myself reverting to habit and doing what I usually do on Wednesdays after LOST, I turned to the internet for companionship. Again I was met with bitter disappointment. Without a fresh episode of LOST to dissect, the boards and blogs were a vast wasteland of rehashed theories and redundant observations. Out of desperation I turned to the rest of the internet, sites not related to LOST, and discovered that there is a lot of other stuff going on out there. Most of it involving porn. Thus the internet without LOST failed me.

Without TV and the internet, I was forced to seek stimulation from other human beings, and as a result I slowly became aware of other goings on in my home. Namely my wife and children appeared to have a whole storyline going on without me. This came as quite a surprise, as up to that point I was under the impression that after 9pm on Wednesdays the rest of my family ceased to exist until Thursday morning. Yet here they were, not only existing, but engaging each other in an intricate ritual. As I observed, I began to perceive that there was a struggle taking place between my wife and my two girls. Much like the conflict between the Losties and the Others. In this case, my wife was trying to put the girls to bed, and the girls were constantly coming up with increasingly elaborate excuses for why they shouldn’t be in bed. It was fascinating to behold.

At one point my wife actually broke the fourth wall and pleaded to me for help. This was unprecedented in my Wednesday night experiences! Sure, there were plenty of times I wanted to somehow influence the actions of Jack and Kate and Company, but despite my screamed instructions, the characters never acknowledged my suggestions, and never, never have they actively sought my help. So, as you can imagine, I was at a loss as to what to do about my wife’s plea of “Snap out of it! Lost is not on tonight, therefore you get to put those little monsters to bed tonight! I am done!”.

“Monsters.” I had never even considered the possibility that there might be two Monsters on the Island. I immediately got online to blog about the possibility that not only is Jacob’s Nemesis the Smoke Monster, but perhaps Jacob is also an as-of-yet unseen Monster. Not an easy task with two little girls running around the living room screaming and my wife on the couch crying.

But somehow I managed. After all, I am a Lost fan.

  • Marc

    had to comment.. really funny and enjoyable

  • Wintermute

    You can sit there and sound holier-than-thou and above it all, but the sad fact remains you have chosen to be called “Fart Monster.”

  • Tiqui

    Hahaha, spoken like a true addict in withdrawal.

  • lockeheart

    My exact experiences in a nutshell. Waking up wednesday morning knowing there isnt a new episode just takes all the wind out of my sails. Waking up and reading all the previews and sneak peaks, getting all amped up for the episode… me and my roomates taking the rare advantage of drinking during the week… firing up the dvr about 25 after 9:00 and watching great television… its gone now, and it sucks!

  • Gusteaux

    When LOST is in season, I begin calculating the hours and minutes until the new episode begins when I wake up on Wednesday morning. Every time I look at a clock or watch on Wednesday, I recalculate in my head. The first thought that entered my mind when I woke up yesterday was, “oh shit!”

    I too found a vast wasteland on televison last night. Yes, the new season of True Blood does start in a few weeks…but that’s only one hour a week…for only 12 weeks. I’m thinking I’m going to have to start my LOST rewatch of seasons 1-5 earlier than Doc’s schedule.

    I’m also going to do some reading. I hate to admit it, but I’ve never read the Dark Tower series. So, yesterday I ordered all seven books! I figure one per month will take me all the way to LOST Season Six.

    I don’t even want to think about life after the series finale next year.

    • Lebowski Achiever

      I personally loved the Dark Tower series and keep re-reading them whenever things get boring. Have fun with them, I think you will enjoy them.

      • neoloki

        Ha ha ha, I do the exact same. However, after my 3rd time reading the series I am looking for something new. Haven’t found it yet though.

        • Boo!

          If you need to pass some wicked time reading, start the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. almost as intricate as Lost, and a great read. 11 books, each with about 900 pages will probably get you through the time without Lost

    • neoloki

      Sorry, for all the posts bunched together. GUSTEAUX: You will like DT, A LOT. I am waiting to do my re-watch until the first two seasons come out on blu-ray. They have been showing Lost re-runs on a local channel here in Seattle and they are in HD. last sunday it was Psalm 23. WOW, season 2 looks FREAKING AMAZING in HD. If you are a Lost fan and have not seen an episode on Blu-ray you really are missing something. It is the closest experience you will get to feeling like you are watching it for the first time again.

    • RandomZombie

      The Dark Tower is amazing.
      If you finish early, and you’re not averse to comice, Marvel has (as of now) three collections that go with the series. I’m reading through now, and they fit in nicely.

      • Gusteaux

        I saw the comics series when I was ordering the books. I figured that I should read the books first. I’m really looking forward to it. As for LOST: I have season 4 on Blu Ray—which does look amazing. I have seasons 1-3 on DVD and will eventually replace them with BR.

        • RandomZombie

          Definitely read the books first. The comics kind of fill in some gaps – kind of like The Silmarillion does for The Lord of the Rings.

      • meems

        Oh good. I’ve been thinking about reading the Dark Tower series, because I’ve heard about it but never read it. ALl your comments make me want to go out and get it for sure!

  • neoloki

    Hey, why doesn’t someone on this sight put together a article where fans can offer cultural suggestions for the Lost hiatus: Movies, books, Tv shows, comics, art, etc..
    We can all respond, then someone can go through the suggestions and pick the most relevant ones and add it to the main article. I am sure with all the intelligent well read fans on this site we can get a pretty impressive list going.

    • That is a great idea. Like a support group for Lostaholics in withdrawal. I might just do that.

      In the meantime, click my name.

      • boonesghost

        I feel your pain. My son was up until 11:30 last night. Usually he falls asleep right after LOST.

      • neoloki

        I have been keeping an eye on your project for a few months now. I think it is very good.

        Yeah, it would definitively be a support group, but also a way to exchange our influences in our creative life (I am a painter) and those stories that keep us invested in our imaginations.

    • KeepingAwake

      I think we did this last year, didn’t we?

      As far as TV goes, I’m looking forward to Mad Men and True Blood. Damages is also pretty good but it’s not a summer show any longer.

      • neoloki

        I think so, but if it could be a continuous post where we could come back to it and use as a reference. Also, it would be great if we could focus on stories and art that had a relationship to Lost and not just random things we will watch.

    • professorstotch

      On the forums, there is a book club being organized that will most likely be brought to the main page soon.

      • neoloki

        That sounds great. I don’t go into the forums to often so I would love to see it on the main page.

    • That really is a good idea. Since I began watching Lost, it has rekindled my love of reading and good books. On this very site a couple years back Docarzt posted some hiatus withdrawal help thing. He recommended a book called ‘Spin’ by Robert Charles Wilson. I read it and, oddly enough, it’s the closest thing I have found in quite a while that satisfied my Lost craving. So yea, I agree that this is a great idea and recommend Spin for anyone who hasn’t read it.

  • ihailu

    Ha ha! Thank you! Your post made my Thursday morning.

  • DarthBubba

    This is exactly why you should collect comics. . . Wed. is always new comics day unless there is a Holiday that messes up shipping. Wed. is always a good day. However I must admit, that first Wed. without Lost was a bit sadder than most.

  • Devin

    I’ve wondered that about the “two monsters” thing too. After all, in White Rabbit Locke tells Jack that he looked into the eye of the island, and what he saw was beautiful (referring to Walkabout, when the monster supposedly approached him). At some point later, someone describes the smoke monster, and he says that’s not what he saw. Maybe he saw a form of Jacob?

  • RandomZombie

    Dude: Mythbusters! Wednesdays at 9, Discovery Channel.
    There you go.

    On Wednesday you hadn’t considered the possibility of two monsters? I guess you didn’t read the latest installment of “Wild Speculation.” I read all your stuff… (exaggerated pout and wipe-away of imaginary tear…)

    I’ll get by this long, long break by remembering how much easier, and finite, post-season five will be then post-season six.

    • Of course I read your stuff. That bit at the end about the two monstors was just artistic license.

  • I loved this post. What a great STORY! I see a lot of people didn’t get the exaggerated humor in it, but I did!

    • I’m glad someone got that.

      • as the saying goes – “great minds….”

  • Ben

    Smoke Monster is Fart Monster. Now, if the two of him would simply stop repeating himself, we could all get on with our lives, alright?

  • KeepingAwake

    Loved your post, imfromthepast!

    Maybe you can tell your girls the whole story of Lost, in nightly installments, to get you through the hiatus! 😉

    • they already recognize the characters, so maybe I could adapt the show into a series of bedtime stories.

      They’ll be in therapy for years…

      • RandomZombie

        Just make each character a different animal and you’re pretty much good to go.

        For some reason reading your comment made me think of the entire Lost story being played out by Smurfs. It’s slightly more disturbing than Lost, but much more adorable.

        • Iwantmykidneyback

          lol, but you might not want to go down that path. If I remember correctly there was a giant and he had a giant cat. Will not sit with me well if a giant cat makes an appearance. Look out vincent!!!

  • Eve

    Hey, imfromthepast, I’ve been reading here for a long time, haven’t posted too much. Had to tell you though, it felt good to read your post. WE”RE NOT ALONE! Wed. for me, has always been the best day of the week. Besides Lost, my favorite art class is on Wed. I too am an artist. I loved your sketch of Locke and all the others you posted. I really liked the squirell, very nicely done. Sun., I was at an art show, and couldn’t belive my eyes. There was an original oil of Hurley and Ben, when Hurley offered him the Apollo candy bar! What a hoot! Well all I can say to ALL of you feelin the pain is, things could be worse. It could be May 2010. Somehow, we’ll make it to Season 6.

    • Thanks a lot, glad I could pull you out of lurkdom! 😀
      You know, I do so much sci-fi stuff that the squirrel was just to see if I could do something normal.
      That’s why it’s the only normal thing in that sketchbook.

  • SeeYouOnMadManPhil

    GREAT POINT, Imfro. I’m on the other side of the Ocean hence your wednesdays are my thurdays. And the funny thing is that I started watching lost only last july! even accidentally! Imagine in september I already had watched the 4 seasons!
    So what makes it even more tragic is that THAT’s MY 1st HIATUS.
    Btw I loooove Mad Man, but that’s starting in august.. soccer is stopping until september.. i ain’t got no gilfriend…

  • JOJO

    Still laughing…great post. I sent it to all my LOST friends. I especially love this line: “my wife and children appeared to have a whole storyline going on without me.”

  • marc

    you know who i hate.. pretenscious a holes who name themsevles fart monster and act like they know and any who dares challenge is a moron. anybody know anyone like that..

  • I really enjoyed this. Well done!

  • Michel

    I wonder: What are the people here calling “corny moments”? Because one man’s example of corniness may be another man’s example of brilliance. Who knows? I know there have been many moments where Lost has suffered from easy emotionality, but even most of the “corny moments” in Lost resonate with meaning and transcendence.

    I don’t think people, like Fart Monster, should judge LOST by the rest of ABC’s drama shows. It certainly has no point of comparison with the likes of Desperate Housewives or Grey’s Anatomy. And I recall MANY HBO series been plagued with vomit-inducing corniness. Taken and Band Of Brothers comes to mind, and mind you, those were great mini-series. I wouldn’t call it that way, but “corniness” may be considered just another writing resource. Shows like Deadwood lacked it, but I found them a bit dry overall. It surely must be a matter of taste. When I see a guy who talks about the NHL as a good replacement for LOST, I don’t wonder why he prefers to see “hard-core” shows like the Wire. yeah, it’s a great show, but LOST’s writing staff has nothing to envy the writers in HBO. In fact, I can’t think of any writing staff Darlton’s team has anything to envy for.

    My suggestion for reading material during the hiatus:

    “A Song Of Ice And Fire” – In my opinion, THE best fantasy series after LOTR. It has many common narrative resources with LOST… namely, intricate story riddled with mysteries, amazing worldbuilding, tons of plot twists, character-centric chapters, deaths of several main characters, conspiracies and struggle for power and, most importantly… totally relativistic ethics. We may be certain that a character is a bad guy and then comes a revelation that makes doubt of our conclusions. It’s not that the character change sides, but that we see the motives for their actions and we come to understand them. Most of them, if not all. And then characters who were the good guys end up doing terrible things for seemingly justified reasons. It’s a real challenge for the reader and it keeps you on your toes all the times. And the best part it that it keeps reminding me of Lost and its characters.
    I heard they were planning on doing a mini-series for HBO.

    Second suggestion: Any Alan Moore grpahic novel. “From Hell” should be a good first candidate.

  • neoloki

    Would someone please ban this person. I don’t see anything constructive in what he is saying and he is just spamming everybody and being fairly offensive. I don’t think this board is a place for 10yr olds.

    • “I’ve done far worse than ban him, Neoloki. I’ve hurt him. And I wish to go on hurting him. I shall leave him as he left me, as he left you; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet… buried alive! Buried alive…!”

      Ok so my paraphrasing of Khan kind of fell apart there, but you get the idea.

      If his shenanigans continue, I will alert the authorities.

  • ashlie

    Um, wow, things have gotten off track.

    Anyway, imfromthepast, awesome post, I totally understand! I’m also trying to fill the void of no LOST, starting with reading The Stand for the first time (don’t throw things!) and then maybe Dark Tower. I also recommend Y: The Last Man. Not only is it written by Bryan K. Vaughan and made a cameo on LOST this season, it’s a really great story.

    I also want to read Flashforward to prepare for that premiere in the fall, I think it looks pretty decent.

    Oh, right, and I guess I’m getting married in 4 1/2 months, maybe I should be focused on that and not LOST…nah, never mind, LOST it is.

    • You made the right call.

    • august

      the stand as a whole gets an 8 from me. the novel itslef is near perfect. the ending lost it 2 points. Slaughterhouse 5 is a nother lost fan favorite so you might also want to try that if you haven’t already. enjoy the stand.

  • arrow

    I really like your post. I’ve started reading Harry Potter. At least there are 7 books to keep me busy for awhile. Find myself trying to find Lost connections.

    • Silvertouch

      Harry Potter’s got nothing on Lost. I wouldn’t bother.

  • cap10tripps

    Posted this a couple of weeks ago on Nicki’s last entry. Here’s the copy/paste.

    cap10tripps says:
    May 16, 2009 at 1:38 amOr what if there are two Smokeys? One would be Jacob and one would be his nemesis. I noticed the Smokey we see at the temple (Danielle’s group) sounded a bit different from the one we knew from the first few seasons. It also appears nemesis was trapped in the cabin until Hugo clumsily stumbled into the ash, so if you believe nemesis is Smokey and he was trapped in the cabin, then there was/is another Smokey

  • Adam

    What if there is a white smoke monster given the thems of black and white? I dont know im bored too. Something to think about for 8 months.

  • nomteticus

    Well, there’s the UEFA Champions League final this wednesday… oops, wrong continent.

    And speaking of sports, how can you American people watch the same teams fight for the same trophies over and over and over again? Why not have a promotion/relegation system, so that other teams from other cities get a chance to play? It’s just like your political system, you’re either republican or democrat. It’s all set up. No room for innovation or initiative. Back in the old continent new political parties or football teams can emerge, but they can also fail and fade into nothingness. It’s real competition and somewhat more democratic. I know I am biased, but I just don’t get you.

    • cap10tripps

      I think you’re on the wrong blog holmes. That being said, I’ll never understand why anybody can get so into a rediculously boring sport that they’ll engage in a gang style brawl with opposing fans. I guess we’ll have to leave these things a mystery.

      Speaking of mysteries, any thoughts on LOST???

  • MjjW

    Stephen King does a lot of meandering in his books so I’m not surprised we had so many seemingly pointless flashbacks during the series so far.

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