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LOST With Lyndsey…”Whatever Happened, Happened”

By LOST With Lyndsey,

  Filed under: Lost, Lost News, Lost Recaps
  Comments: 51

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire

Super-Duper Brief Recap

Season 5 Episode 11- “Whatever Happened, Happened”-
Sawyer continues pretending he doesn’t care about Kate. Juliet pretends not to notice Jack is naked in the bathroom. Jack pretends not to care about anything at all, though at this point, he actually may NOT care about anything at all. Hard to say. Roger makes eyes at Kate. Kate’s disgusted. Kate sings, “Catch a Falling Star” to Aaron, just as Claire had wanted…
Miles and Hurls partake in an inspiring tit for tat surrounding existence and time/ space stuff, which makes me really miss Daniel.

Zombie Zoo and Kate: Over Before it Began

Kate and Roger bond over her lack of experience with a winch. She seems minorly charmed by him and his Tom Petty hair, until the van bearing a dead-ish Young-Ben comes squealing into the town square. At that point, Roger gets all, “That’s my kid!” and Kate realizes that this jive turkey contributed 23 chromosomes to the child who will one day be Big-Ben, and she suddenly looks like she might vomit. Luckily, we don’t see that part because we get a commercial break in the form of a flash-forward-back (it’s all a circle anyway, according to Miles…)

They’re Playing Our Song!

Kate listens to her go-to ‘Sawyer-on-the-brain’ song, Patsy Cline’s “She’s Got You.”
Just like in S4’s “Eggtown,” Kate is about to spit some truth involving Sawyer and a baby, only this time, the recipient is old pal, Cassidy, and the bundle of joy is an envelope.
Filled with bundles of bills. Oh joy!

John 8:32 (The Truth Will Set You Free)

Wow! Kate is like a geyser of truth when Cassidy is around…
She must’ve felt seriously weighed down by all of those fabrications and lies, because it takes surprisingly little coercion before she uncontrollably spews all of the O6’s most ‘classified’ secrets plus a bonus in the form the ‘Aaron tale’, to her new/ old friend, Cassidy.
Cassidy is surprisingly dismissive and a little mean re: Sawyer’s heroic intentions and his attempt to make it ‘right.’ She’s a hard hearted woman thanks to Sawyer…
And while that’s all super interesting, throughout the entire scene, I found myself totally fixated on the fact that Kate had a red scrunchie in her hair. Why Kate? Why?
2005 is totally a no-scrunchie zone. That shit is a basic truth a’ la Mathematics and Consciousness.
There is just no excuse.

“Yeah, well, history is gonna change.” Marty McFly

Sawyer puts Jack, Kate, and Hurley on house arrest.
Miles and Hurls engage in a witty pas de deux re: the rules of time travel according to the other Doc (Brown,) and how they apply to the current circumstances.
Kate channels Juliet as she pensively stares out the window and Jack channels Young-Ben as he makes sandwiches. Then in the least shocking turn of events ever, we learn that Juliet ‘I’m a Fertility Specialist, Not a Surgeon,’ needs Jack’s help to fix Young-Ben. But Jack’s not playin.’ He’d rather pout and eat his sandwiches than save Ben AGAIN (because, according to Miles, he already saved Ben in the past, because the future is the past, got it?)
Kate tells Jack that he is ‘different’ than he was before and she doesn’t like it. Ha.
Jack reminds Kate that she didn’t really like him before. Ha HA!
Never one to stay put in spite of terms like ‘house arrest’ and threats like ‘I’ll shoot you in the leg,’ being
brandished about, Kate has leavin’ on her mind and she does just that.
Apparently, Miles was more suited towards ghost whispering than prison guarding, cus he does very little to stop her.

That’s Gotta Sting…

Kate and Roger have some alone time after she donates blood. Uncle Rico Roger laments his crappy fathering and whines about his dead wife. He asks Kate if she has any kids, and after mentally-calculating the time-line, she says she does not. She looks super, super sad.
Then, Young-Ben crashes.
Juliet begrudgingly offers that the Others (read: Hostiles) may be able to save him.
She and Kate load Lil Ben into the Dharma Ambulance (read: van) and in a poignant hark back, Jules offers to give Kate a ‘head start’ before she tells Sawyer what’s happening.

Other Notable ‘Head Starts’ Include:
*Kate offered Sun a ‘head start,’ before she ‘had to tell Jack’ in S4’s “Ji Yeon”
*Sam Austen offered Kate ‘an hour head start’ before he alerted the authorities in S2’s “What Kate Did”
*Kate offered herself a head start after copping her convict-status to new husband (and policeman,) Kevin in S3’s “I Do.” She did this by poisoning his tea. This is illegal and also not nice. There are better ways to get a ‘head start’ in life.

De-Claire Thyself

Aaron wants milk. No, juice. Yes, a juice box. Kate seems wholly confused by the grocery store lay-out, and then seems even more confused when Goober goes M.I.A. Confusion quickly turns to panic when he’s really-gone (not like, hiding-gone) and the epiphany that ‘she was never meant to have Aaron’ is solidified when she sees a woman with Claire-hair walking hand-in-hand with her (read: Claire’s) son. They are ostensibly heading towards the customer service desk to make an announcement, but frankly, that blonde un-Claire looked kinda evil when she smiled and my gut was screaming “Amber Alert!” the moment she turned around.
Kate and Aaron then pay Aunt Cassidy a visit. Cassidy hypothesizes that Kate used Aaron to replace Sawyer. Um, awkward?
Kate now knows that she needs to give Aaron up and drops in on Carole Littleton at her hotel. Carole is a MILF. I mean that in the general sense, not the personal sense. For the second time in her life (and this episode,) Kate spits the whole truth and it sounds even more incomprehensible than it did during the first go-round.
Also, I kept waiting for some bonding or high-fiving re: how those Shephard-boys are so delicious and enticing, but neither Kate nor Carole seem interested in trading Christian /Jack ‘in the sack’ stories.
Fully de-claire-d, Kate says a tearful goodbye to Aaron, and sets off to Jack’s house surreptitiously hoping to have him help her replace Aaron straight away, while simultaneously enabling her to act as Claire’s ‘proxy’ on the flight to Guam the Island.

Dear Kate…

Dear Kate,
I get that you have a soft spot for damaged men, but why do you need to save Ben so damn badly?
Don’t be fooled by outward appearances. He IS going to try to steal that kid you are pretending is yours, put you in a cage, torture all of your boyfriends, and make you break rocks while wearing a dress…
C’mon, Kate, I know Jack is slacking these days, but you don’t HAVE to be the hero.

I Don’t Wanna Talk About It…

Juliet confronts naked Jack about potentially letting Ben die and asks him (just as Sawyer did Kate) why he came back. He says something about ‘saving them’ and I realize that it’s somewhat un-gratifying when people do communicate on this show. Kate’s answer being trumped by the flaming Dharma van was way more fun. At least we got some gratuitous nudity. Yay for that.
Sawyer (not Lafluer) comes to help Kate. I know it was Sawyer because he calls her ‘Freckles’, which totally makes my heart flutter. Then he tells Kate that he’s doing it all for Juliet, which makes my heart categorically un-flutter.
The mind-blowing part of this whole scene for me, was not all the tromping through the jungle with Lil-Ben’s half-dead body seeking the Others/ Hostiles, it was actually what didn’t happen.
Kate did not mention her previous connection with Cassidy, to Sawyer.
Say what?
Come to think of it, I could’ve used a bit more shock and awe from Kate when it was Cassidy who opened the door and turned out to be Sawyer’s baby momma. These are some of Fate’s best tricks people. Seriously.

He Will Always Be One of Us

Kate and Sawyer choose to save Ben’s body and eternally screw his soul. They turn him over to Richard who, by the way, does not answer to Ellie or Charles, in spite of his warnings that Ben will heal but will never be the same and will always be one of them. He also will not remember any of this. Oooohhhhh (the light dawns,) so that’s why he doesn’t remember Sayid shooting him, or any of the other 815-ers…
Thanks, Richard!

Welcome to the Land of the Living.

I’m sure my eyes deceive me, but Ben seems legitimately surprised to see John.
Further, thanks a bunch, LOST writers, for throwing a book title at us disguised as dialogue in the last 3 seconds of the show. Awesome. John Locke welcomes Benny to the land of the living, which just so happens to be the title of a mystery novel by Nicci French. The opening scene in the story depicts the heroine captured ‘hands and feet bound, head covered by a rough bag, a wire around her neck and a filthy gag in her mouth.’
While that wasn’t exactly the scenario here, that description sounds lots like the time Ben kidnapped, bound, gagged and covered the heads of Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer on the dock in S2’s “Live Together, Die Alone.”

Just mentioning…

Final Thought: Love, love, love the resurrection (oh yes, I went there) of John Locke’s evil grin which was totally reminiscent of the ending of S1’s “Tabula Rasa.” It scared me then, but is totally intriguing now…

Lyndsey has OCD. Lucky for you, in between color-coding her closet and using anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, she channels her mania into over-analysis of “Lost”. She believes the idea that “TV rots your brain,” is bullshit. She is sure her brain is not, in fact, rotten.