“He is in a constant state of stage fright, he says, because he never knows what part of his life he is going to have to act in next.”- Kurt Vonnegut Slaughterhouse-Five
Super-Duper Brief Recap
Season 5 Episode 3 “Jughead”- Penny and Desmond are hanging on the yacht off the coast of Thailand, when she goes into labour. Desmond runs wildly through the streets searching for someone to deliver the wee one. He happens upon a doctor whom, as luck would have it, has his entire medical bag including forceps at the town square poker tournament. That’s handy.
We learn that Ben isn’t the only liar the Island ever produced and Daniel declares his love for Charlotte. Those two thoughts are not related.
Oh, and we also learn that there is a massive atomic bomb on the Island. It’s name is “Jughead.”
“What the World Needs Now…”
Ahhh, love! Aren’t you glorious?
Desmond and Penny are blissfully drifting on their love boat and well, loving each other so much, that one-day all that love mixes together and POOF! a child is born. That is how it happens, right? Naturally, they name the offspring “Charlie”…after dead rock star and Island savior, Charlie Pace, NOT after Penny’s dastardly daddy, Charles Widmore. Still, I am sure that this fun experiment in irony was not lost (no pun intended) on our crafty producer / writer friends.
Suddenly, Des gets that wild, bleary eyed look about him, which Penny knows all too well and she asks him to promise that he’ll never go back to the Island. He avoids the “promising” part of the program and asks, “Why would I ever go back there?” Then he leaves.
This proves that Desmond’s lying methodology is totally similar to my own…bob, weave, answer a question with a question, and get outta Dodge. Again, these thoughts are un-related to the matter at hand, but I really heart Desmond and want to connect myself with him as much as possible.
“When (pause) (pause) are we?”
First off, I’d like to thank Jacob (and the writers) for seeing to it that the most over-used dialogue in the history of the Island was only uttered once in this episode. Also, John Locke did the uttering, so it must be OK. For John is the leader. Just ask him.
We really wish you’d stop promising Charlotte that you won’t let anything happen to her. You should take a peek into the “Book of Jack” and see what happens when your hero complex gets all riled up and then something goes awry. You end up with a crazy beard and an addiction.
Hey, we’re pulling for Charlotte too, and we completely dug your insanely adorable declaration of love, right in front of the crazy “old Others” (a.k.a. “Hostiles”), but you really should control the tenuous guarantee’s of safety. Especially because you know that shit’s just gonna course correct itself. Even you “cannot change the past” or the future. Whatever. Um, when am I?
The other Others
Hot blonde chick named Ellie with tough British accent and massive gun comes tromping out of the jungle and upon seeing, Daniel, notes that he “just couldn’t stay away…”
Well, all right then…
So, she knows that Daniel has been to the Island before, but upon learning that this convo happened in 1954, I am forced to ask how in tarnation Ellie knows Daniel.
Yes, Daniel’s a time-traveler, but he’s no Richard Alpert…he’s not impervious to the aging process, so unless Daniel looks really rad for 65, something tells me that Lil Miss Ellie and Daniel have met in anOther space…and of course, in anOther time.
Dominus Illuminatio Mea (That’s Latin for “People at Oxford are smarter than you”)
So, Daniel doesn’t exist as far as the Oxford computer knows, but our intrepid explorer, Desmond knows better. Hence, when he sees the very clever “Do Not Enter! Fumigation,” sign, he disregards that shit and breaks right in. His persistence is rewarded. He participates in some witty banter with a surly janitor and finds a dusty photo of Daniel and a pretty flaxen haired lady (super reminiscent of the now iconic Des / Penny shot that we saw 8 times per episode, from S2 forward.)
Sadly, we learn that this blonde chick is named Theresa (not the sad part) and that she’s comatose in some hospice-type situation across town (that was the sad part.) Oh, and Daniel has seemingly abandoned her (another sad part.)
Tres’ shocking though, when we find out that Widmore is Daniel’s “benefactor.”
Cus, you know, I kinda thought that Daniel was this innocent, guileless character who got enrolled in these freighter shenanigans because he answered some “Physicist Wanted” ad on Craigslist. Not so, apparently.
Don’t I Know You From…?
Though definitive knowledge of deserted-by-Daniel, vegetative-state, Theresa is sketchy at this point, we do know that she is “a British woman in her 30’s who suffers from dementia.” We also know that Widmore is taking care of her hospital bills (which brought me back to another “vegetative blond woman in a hospital” scene, when it was revealed that Christian Shepard is paying for Claire’s mom, Carole Littleton’s, hospital bills.)
There have been other notable Theresa’s in LOST history. Ana-Lucia’s mother was Teresa (no “h”) and Boone Carlyle’s (R.I.P) nanny was Theresa.
This feels significant.
In “Deus Ex Machina,” John Locke eats some crazy-paste, goes into a sweat lodge and comes out trying to figure out “who Theresa is”. At this point, Boone chimes in with a fun story about being a bratty 6 year old who would entertain himself by repeatedly summoning his nanny, Theresa, on the intercom, causing her to climb up the massive staircase leading to his room over and over again. One day while doing so, she slipped and broke her neck.
Super interesting. Trust me.
Juliet Remembers Where She Comes From, Y’All…
Once an Other, always an Other…
When the angry-Others-in-jumpsuits bust out their fantastical linguistic skills, Juliet has a Dorothy moment and remembers that she too, was once an Other. She tells us that Latin is the language of the “enlightened” and convinces her new homies to take them to Richard. There’s no place like home…
Meanwhile, Richard being a sucker for a good love story lets Daniel, accompanied by Ellie, have a go at disarming the bomb.
Daniel suggests they bury it.
I suggest we dethrone Daniel as the de facto “smart dude” cus any child over the age of three understands that just because you cover it up, doesn’t mean it’s no longer there.
Tourettes Syndrome, While Sort of Funny, Is Not a Joke
Look John Locke, I get that your still green in the “Leader of the Others” department, but Ben would NEVER have pulled that “charge-the-camp-like-a-kid-with-Tourettes” stunt. Maniacally screaming “Richard! Richard Alpert!,” does not a pathway to respect make. Post-antics and a quick mention of Jacob later, John discovers that irate-est of the irate “Old Others,” is actually a young Charles Widmore.
Shock. Awe. OMG. Gasp. Silence. Holy. Crap.
And suddenly nothing is what it seemed and yes, the entire game has again shifted.
At least with Ben at the helm, we were aware that we were always being lied to. At this point, we aren’t sure who’s playing whom, and the show-that-interconnectivity-built is forcing us to examine every single facet that we thought we understood, through different eyes. Way to increase the sales on the Season 1-4 DVD’s, Producer dudes!
Crazy but Maybe…
OK, this is totally a theory at this point, BUT Old Widmore tells Desmond that he musn’t do anything that will change “years of events” that he has no involvement in (or something like that. I‘ve only seen it once and am paraphrasing at this point.)
Then we learn that Widmore was on the Island before BEN was even born. Before Locke was ever a twinkle in his crazy-slightly-slutty mother Emily and liver-stealing daddy’s minds.
Could Ellie (the Brit blonde Other) and young, old-Other Widmore have, you know, gotten down on the Island circa1954 and created a (gasp) child???? Could Ellie BE Ms. Hawking? As we’ve mentioned, Hawking is a pseudonym… we do not know her actual first or last name. Add to that the idea that Ellie did mention that Daniel “couldn’t stay away”, her tough Brit exterior, her association with Widmore, and Hawking-like ability to control the men around her (she’s obviously an upper echelon Other), even her pinned back “strict-looking” hair feel Hawking-ish.
Could this Widmore / maybe-Hawking pairing have created Penny (we never see her mother.)
If so, and if Hawking DOES turn out to be Daniel’s Mommy-dearest, that would make Penny and Daniel (wait for it…wait for it) BROTHER AND SISTER (well, half anyway.)
In related possibly-related news, both Ben and Locke have mother’s named Emily. Though we believe that Ben’s mother died during childbirth and we have seen Locke’s mother in far more recent history, it is fully possible that the crazy woman claiming to be Locke’s mom in the flashback episode, Deus Ex Machina, was NOT actually his mother? Go with me here…
Every character on this show is duped over and over again… at the end of Deus Ex Machina, Emily admits that she assisted in the kidney-heist scam for money, but she does not say whether or not she was being honest regarding being Locke’s mother. He’s never met her. Could that entire relation have been part of the set-up?
Further, both Ben and John see the ghosts of their mothers on the Island. It seems that the half-dead on the Island all have ties to the Island, which Emily Locke as we know her, does not. Totally inconclusive at this point, but I’m a know-it-all and at least if I call it now, I can legitimately say, “I told you so.”
Sawyer was (understandably) moody during the first two eps of this season. Thus, aside from a couple “Frogurt” jabs at Neil, I was left a bit bereft of my favorite redneck’s humor.
Tonight, he totally rebounded.
Two best lines of the night:
(Walking up to Juliet and her new old-Other friends)
Sawyer: “I hate to break up your “I’m an Other, you’re an Other reunion, but…”
(Coming out of the jungle just as Daniel has feebly explained to Ellie that his people are from 50 years from then)
Ellie- “Are they from the future too?”
Sawyer- “You told her?!”
Lyndsey has OCD. Lucky for you, in between color-coding her closet and using anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, she channels her mania into over-analysis of “Lost”. She believes the idea that “TV rots your brain,” is bullshit. She is sure her brain is not, in fact, rotten.